So I arrived at Waitrose to pick up my tea, spag bog was the order of the day. Picked up my onion, some cup mushrooms, couple of hundred KG's of minced beef all ready to return home and cook.
However, I was rather peckish so went up the meat isle (I beg your pardon) and picked up a little pack of ham to munch on on the way home.
I got back to my car, opened up the nice little plastic pack and dived in. After several chews of the ham I was aware that it really didn't have the consistency of our little piggy friends. I turned the light on in my car and found that the slices of ham were also a rather odd colour. Very orange. Like a duster. Ah, that's why it was only 75p, the ham was on its way out.
I continued to eat the orange ham as I was still rather peckish. Only then did I realise what was going on.
This wasn't ham!
It was vegetarian ham made of non ham!
Did you hear what I said?
It was vegetarian ham!
What In gods name is vegetarian ham?
What in gods name is surprisingly versatile ham style slices vegetarian ham?
When is ham not versatile anyway?
Would people be surprised by hams versatility?
I'm going off my point!
Ham? Vegetarian? Why? How?
Surely you are vegetarian because you hate the way hams are butchered in our abattoirs, you hate the idea of ham, so why would you ever want to buy surprisingly versatile ham style slices?
Hang on, a range of vegetarian meat! They are onto a winner. A brilliant concept!
Beef made of chickpea!
Lamb made of pasta!
It’s brilliant!
Beet meat!
I then went home and tucked into crushed cow, it was nice.
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