Gym Robinson

I had a magic idea!

Open up a set of Gyms named after famous Jims.

So, we would have a Gym Robinson, where, in a certain area they would play old repeats of Neighbours.

Gym Morrison would have a little spot where you workout to The Doors.

Gym Broadbent would play films obviously starring 'The Broadbent'

Gym Henson would play lots of Muppets and we might even theme the staff.

Gym Davidson would be for the old and the young.

Anyway, i think you get the idea.

And the best bit about these gyms is that when ringing the main call centre to try and speak to you local gym, the conversation would be something like.

'Hello how can i help you today'

'Hi, could you put me through to Gym Robinson please, i have a query about chest pains'

Now ain't that just fine.

Gym and Tonic

Well, Banuary still roles on and it got me thinking.

They should open a gym for people like me who like booze.

Here's the clever bit. The gym also brews incredible ale and lager.

So, you get a personal trainer who uses drink as an incentive to make you workout harder.

'20 minutes more on the bike Richard and you can have half a pint of our wonderful winter warmer'

You see, you can't get this beautiful booze anywhere else but the gym, so it makes you go back there to drink their special brew.

A brilliant thought i am sure you will agree.

Here's to Gym and Tonic.

Daffiti™

So, last night i was supposed to go to the gym.

I was all geared up, raring to go, got to the train station, text message arrives.

'PINT?' It read.

Hmmmmmm......

'No no no' internal Richard said, 'gym please Richard'.

'Richard!!' Exclaimed internal Richard, 'RICHARD!'

With that Richard went to the pub and drank pints.

Internal Richard was furious, external Richard was slightly perturbed.

Anyway, whilst at the pub we saw this.

Some people had ripped out the flowers and created graffiti.

Now, as you can see, one of the pieces said 'ECOFREINDLY' - not very clever daffitiers.

Might i suggest that ripping up plants is not really ecofriendly? Is it now?

No.

Anyway, i will continue to go to the pub instead of going to the gym and i will report any other findings.

Well done.

Paintbrushes are new dumbbell!

My very lovely Mummy came up yesterday to help me decorate both my kitchen and bathroom, they ended up looking simply wonderful, but it was not the art of painting and decorating that i wish to talk about, it was what happened next.

We started very leisurely, bit of breakfast, then bit of a shop for stuff, then a bit of lunch, and then it started proper. We spent a good 4 to 5 hours painting, filling, rollering, sticking, fixing, cutting and dying and might i say, this morning i feel worse than any gym workout! My arms ach, my legs are stiff, i hurt!

So, i had a thought.

I have come up with ideas for gyms before, but feel this has more legs, big butch muscular legs.

Gyms should have an area in them where you just paint and decorate and do general DIY, then you are learning as you exercise.

Then, you create a keep fit collective that goes out and does places up. You submit a form and 'Pain and Decorate' come around and do your gaff up!

Brilliant!

Anyway, that's it, bored now.

Hibernation.

This morning, i was taken out of my cardboard box, my little closed eyes were dabbed with cotton wool, my bottom was cleaned, and i was put on the sofa to stretch and wake up.

And here i am, fully awake, and ready to take on twenty hundred and nine.

The last 2 weeks of my life have been spent infront of life, and not infront of a computer, so, here i am, away from life, and back infront of a 19 inch monitor.

Anyway, Happy New Year to you.

I am once more 5 days into Banuary and am feeling marvellous already! No drink! No rubbish food! Gym! It's glorious. And, it makes you appreciate drink, rubbish food, and not gyming even more.

Also, have you seen that the carnage has begun already. Trees don't need to come down until tomorrow, but already our little Christmas hero's are left alone to die, no presents, no adoring children, no warmth, just dogs urinating on there thinning limbs.

In 2 weeks they have gone from celebrated icons, to shambolic nothings!

Sounds familiar that.

Hurrah 2009, hurrah!