A birdy vendetta

After what happened to me this morning, i believe that birds are way clevererer than I ever gave them credit for.

I get back home at about 7.30pm last night after spending a lovely weekend in Dorset and attempt to park Ulrika in The Square close to Chez Hale. Well, due to the selfish people who live near me I had to park on the main road under a tree.

This morning arrives and I go to move the car and find she is totally covered in bird shite. It is in lots of different places, but has all definitely come from the same bird.

I move the car to a more auspicious position, closer to home, then walk past where she was parked and there is no sign of shite on the road, not even a little bit.

So, my theory is that one bird has a grudge, maybe i inadvertently hit said birds cousin or friend and then they openly hold a dirty protest using my car as the canvas.

I promise you, looking at my car it was as if the bird had gone 'have that' then hopped to another branch 'and that' 'and that' 'that’s for Beaky' 'that ones for Tweet' 'and finally' big push 'that’s for Claude, RIP Claude'.

Well, if you are reading this bird, siphoning Wi-Fi from Flat 6, you better stop right now, I know roughly where you live, well, it will be one of the big trees in St Andrews Square, I’m watching you, and you are outside the circle of trust way outside!