Turner blind eye.

And so the Turner Prize exhibits have arrived at The Tate! Jolly good show too!

I really enjoy it. I like the debate that it makes us all have about modern art, and what indeed is modern art. It makes you think, and thinking is good.

And I am sure 'Is Banksy really art?' will be discussed again and again as it always is year after year. Move on people!

Anyway, i feel rather let down by this years entries, especially the work of Cathy Wilkes.

'I Give You All My Money', above, is basically a couple of shop window mannequins sitting next to a supermarket check out.

I pressume it is a comment against rising prices in supermarkets? Perhaps how Sainsburys and Tesco are killing the corner shop? How Cathy can't stop buying Morissonss value chips? I don't know.

But this is the bit that i find a bit strong. I read that a critic liked 'her personal approach to figurative sculpture'

I beg your pardon? Figurative sculpture? Where? I can't see it?

There are so many amazing bits of 'modern art' around at the moment that is way ahead of people like Cathy, but they would never get a look in because they simply aren't on 'the scene'.

Have you seen Slinkachu? That is well considered figurative sculpture! He is pushing modern art way harder than Cathy Wiles ever will.

Don't lose what is good Turner Prize.

The past was wonderful, lets make sure the future is as good!

Ipod clever things

This is ace and must be watched!

Then watch this. It is all soooooooo amazing!!

All brought to you by RJDJ.

I presume they are a collective of beautiful people creating beautiful things!

I love you beautiful people, please continue creating beautiful things!

If there are people this clever out their i think i might give up me day job!

Bite.

A birdy vendetta

After what happened to me this morning, i believe that birds are way clevererer than I ever gave them credit for.

I get back home at about 7.30pm last night after spending a lovely weekend in Dorset and attempt to park Ulrika in The Square close to Chez Hale. Well, due to the selfish people who live near me I had to park on the main road under a tree.

This morning arrives and I go to move the car and find she is totally covered in bird shite. It is in lots of different places, but has all definitely come from the same bird.

I move the car to a more auspicious position, closer to home, then walk past where she was parked and there is no sign of shite on the road, not even a little bit.

So, my theory is that one bird has a grudge, maybe i inadvertently hit said birds cousin or friend and then they openly hold a dirty protest using my car as the canvas.

I promise you, looking at my car it was as if the bird had gone 'have that' then hopped to another branch 'and that' 'and that' 'that’s for Beaky' 'that ones for Tweet' 'and finally' big push 'that’s for Claude, RIP Claude'.

Well, if you are reading this bird, siphoning Wi-Fi from Flat 6, you better stop right now, I know roughly where you live, well, it will be one of the big trees in St Andrews Square, I’m watching you, and you are outside the circle of trust way outside!

Smiley in Surbiton

Found this this morning in 'East London's trendiest suburb' Surbiton.

I do hope that people in Surbiton aren't keeping Nigerian Wild bears in their garden flats.

Perhaps they are good house keepers only to happy to press a shirt or a pair of Chinos.

'Smiley, have you picked up my dress from the dry cleaners, oh, and the bathroom needs a good scrub?'

And i thought Kestyn Lunan was a chef who made cheese and onion crips?

And hang on, Nigerian Bears? Nigerian Wild Bears? Pardon? Do Nigeria have bears? Domestic or wild? Hmmmm?

Where oh where is Dave Attenborough when you need him? In his big house i'd imagine, with Steed, his pet Nigerian Wild Bear.

You lift me up!

How good are our lifts?

Pretty good?

Rather good?

.........

You know when you've been minted!

And so it has begun!

Last night, whilst at the pub - like obviously - a new arrival made its way into my handbag!

A glorious spankingly new 5 pence coin!



Not sure if you have seen but the Royal Mint had a competition to design the backs for a new set of coins that would be put into circulation.

Anyway, the winning design is super as all the coins come together to form The Shield of the Royal Arms, oh yes!

So, i have taken it upon myself to see how long it takes me to collect the set.

I have set up a Flickr gallery so that you can track my progress.

I suggest others do the same, we can have a race to see who can collect them all first. And i will not be asking fiends and family, i will just be checking change from retail outlets and entertainment establishments.

Coin it in!

Tony and The Lakes

Lovely Mother Hale and I went to the Lake District at the weekend.

It really was something rather spectacular.

I had been before but never realised how totally amazing it is up there.

Landscapes to rival Scotland I tell you.

Well done England! Well done indeed.

Anyway, lovely Sister Hale suggested that lovely Mother Hale and I pull in to just north of Liverpool on our return to see Antony Gormley’s 'Another Place'.

Well, might I ad lovely Sister Hale was right to suggest that lovely Mother Hale and I pull in to just north of Liverpool to see Antony Gormley’s 'Another Place' as it was fabulous.

There are apparently 100 bronze statues of Tony splattered across the beach, although we only saw 6 as the tide was in.

They really are very very eerie as they appear to be waiting for something to happen. They all look very pensive as if an attack is imminent, or they have lost a mate and waiting for him to return over the horizon.

Please, if you are anywhere close go see them.

I was also saying to Mummy what an odd bunch of people you were going to get on the beach in question.

Holidaying Scouser’s exclaiming - 'forkin hell Stevie, where'didya put the forkin schuncreeem?'

And posh art critics announcing - 'Yes, Gormely has triumphed at creating a synergy between man and nature by simply changing the perceptive of life, delivering celebration that inconceivably brings together creed and race, helping the pre-Raphaelites of bygone eras coherently consider epilating stiff obtuse curves and forms'.

Well done Tone, you have brought people together.

Oh, finally, small children playing with raw sewage.

Thanks just north of Liverpool, i enjoyed you immensely.