Poshtivals

I feel like we don't talk anymore. We seem to have forgotten how to communicate, drifted apart, we just don't seem to bother. Well I'm still in it for the long run, I'm going to start trying again, making an effort, I'm sorry, I really am. I've missed you.

Anyway, where was I.

Apparently I was at a 'festival' on Friday night. I thought I was just going to see Mark Ronson, but no, it was a 'festival' and Mark Ronson was the 'main act'.

It was down in Wiltshire at a beautiful place called Bowood House. I used to go there as a kiddy as I had an ace adventure playground.

Anyway, yes, Mark Ronson. This 'festival' was brilliant as there only seemed to be about 63 people there, and of that 63, 62 of them where incredibly middle classed. I am upper class you see. It was all D&G Wellingtons and foldout seats, brilliant it was.

I am going to put a call out for more festivals like this. People ruin festivals, not bad weather or The Corrs.

And by the way, Mark Ronson wasn't very good; where as Calvin Harris (after an initial berating) was super.

Hip horary to middle class festivals with very few people.

P.S I am writing this on the train on the way to work and the women opposite is reading the paper. As she is turning the pages, and reading the headlines she is muttering things like 'oh dear' 'oh god'. I don't think she is going to have a good day.

P.P.S Don't worry, all ok, the women just laughed. Thank heavens, she'll be alright.

She went on her own accord.

I have a feeling that this will be the best website you will have ever seen.

Please go and enjoy an awful lot of wonderfully geographical jokes.

You will see things like;

My son's gone on a singing tour of South Korea.

Seoul?

No, R&B.

And;

I did Shaggy in kareoke during my holiday in the US last week.

Carolina?

No, Mr Bombastic.

Get in there, it will make you a better person.

Join the dots.

I had a thought for the next Honda campaign.

The ad running at the moment is a load of sky divers spelling Honda related words and objects.



I don't like the ads, but I love the campaign thought, 'difficult is worth doing'.

So, what they should do next is to place various posters around the country, then when you join all the locations up on Google maps they spell a big word like 'Honda' or 'Boobs' or something like that.

And what fun you could have with the breif 'difficult is wort doing'. Your client would have to say yes to the most ridiculous of ideas!

Bravo!

Ford Pooga!

Have you seen the new ad for the Ford Kuga?



It asks questions like ‘Why do we keep following the same old design rules?’

And ‘Imagine if you could start again with a blank canvas?’

Lovely questions to consider, so why the feck didn’t they consider these questions when they designed the Kuga?

They have totally followed the same old design rules, and have in no way started from a blank canvas as the Kuga is a total copy of the Nissan Qashqai! (see below)



Advertising sucks!

Again, come up with an idea, then retro fit a product, in this case it doesn’t even work!

Well done Ford, what was wrong with the old Kuga!

Oil on canvas

I am going to create a set of classic oil paintings.

Starting with The HeyWayne.

Next will come Monet's, The White Water Lilies.

This would invovle several Lilly Alan's sitting in a canoe on the pond of lilies

Then we will have Mona Lisa Mafia. Basically Mona Lisa, but with a massive bling 'M' around her neck.

With all of them i am going to get this lot to paint them for me.

If you can think of any more let me know.

Youth. Love them, don't hate them.

I went to Winchester this weekend to see my wonderful friend Barney.

As always we had a very lovely time taking in some of the arts and crafts in some of the local hostelries.

There was also a Morris Dancing convention taking place. What a lovely spectacle. 10's of bearded men and women jumping around with happy go lucky expressions.

I must say tho, I seemed to get a temporary bout of titinius. For at least 20 minutes after leaving them behind I still had a faint ringing in my ears. Beer soon quashed the symptoms.

Sorry, i am waffling.

It was this I wanted to talk about.


We went back into Winchester on Sunday for a spot of breakfast and found this.

You know, I think, just sometimes we should give our youths a bit more credit. If the mischief is good mischief, like this is, then more mischief please. Stop the pointless smashing and beating. Create!

Well done Winchesters youth, I am incredibly proud of you, whoever you are.

Get in cider and drink!

Please, listen, I have something to say!

I do realise that generally I talk an awful lot of nonsense, but please, stay seated and listen.

Last night, last night, I found something incredibly special.

A one off.

An original.

A something so special that that something should be bottled, with apples, and sugar.

For I found, A Cider Bar. I think.

A bar, pub, that serves no less than 13 different brews of fermented apple happiness.

We arrived, if I remember correctly, and drank some cider, 7.3%? Perhaps.

We drank some more. Perry? Pair cider? Maybe.

We then started to chat to the manager........I think.

He then, I’m sure, gave us a sample of each of the ciders, I think. Jake? I'm sure that was his name. Jade? No, girls name, he was a boy, yes, a boy, sure he was.

It was a delight. He feed us each one and you could properly tell the difference, couldn't you? I think so?.

Anyway, i'm pretty certain it was just off Great Titchfiled Street. Somewhere around there. The Green Man! Was the pub, I don't think I was that far gone.

Please, make your way there. I'll come. Drink cider. Chat to Jake? Probably.