Praise be!

The work of the clever.

Lush!

Dead chipper that!

I was in Cornwall last week and came across something very very special indeed.

We have all seen 'Martin's Plaice'. I'm sure you have probably been into 'Salt and Batter-y'. Gobbled down a savaloy from The Codfather?

But, have you ever seen...

Neither had i until i arrived at Padstow.

Brilliant i am sure you will agree.

Also, whilst i was in Cornwall, i saw a this.

Is it a UFO?

What is it?

It was incredibly high up in the sky, and was not attached to anything.

Perhaps it is indeed another savaloy from The Codfather.

Show us your stuff.

I had a thought.

Shops should get real life people to stand in their real life shop windows demonstrating the real life products they sell.

For example, i was walking past a sofa shop and there were a couple sitting on this sofa, they looked really really comfortable, the sofa obviously was too.

Then i walked past Heals, they sell most things. There was a women playing with a bin. She pressed the foot pedal and the bin opened, another press and it closed, then it opened, then it closed. It looked like a very very nice bin and i liked the foot pedal action very much.

I then went past Cargo, there was a women holding up this vase, it looked really nice, was very well built judging by her body language.

Above, they should have someone in the window of Knobs & Knockers playing with the boats, putting the sails up and down.

I reckon they would sell loads more goods if they did this.

Philip Green, if you are reading this, get in touch, it's my idea and you can't have it, unless you give me bags of dosh.

You bore me! Not you, him.

Can I ask, is anyone else totally and utterly fed up with the news that Cristiano Ronaldo is leaving Man United, sorry, is staying at Man United, no no, sorry, is a slave at Man United?

It is getting ridiculous now. His maybe/maybe-nots are more important that most sports stories.

When he decides, let us know, that’s fine, but don't tell us every thought he is having. It’s not news!

To start with I didn't really want him to leave English football as he is a joy to watch, but after all this I would rather he went as his ego is going to be bigger that Fergusons big whisky stained nose.

And, do you think Chris actually knows what a slave is? Correct me if I’m wrong, please do, but I stupidly thought that slaves generally get it pretty tough, working hard for a pitiful existence?

I can't wait for the day when Chris has to buy his diamonds at Liz Duke.

Get out, leave us alone.

Fished in!

So this Aquarium in the states had an International Aquatic Planet Layout Contest, which i presume, looking at the photos, means making a fish tank look like a scene from Lord of The Rings.

They really are rather smashing, please have a good old look.

Happy fish, happy happy fish.

TeaCoffee

I am sitting here drinking TeaCoffee, and i must say it really is the most peculiar of things.

As you can see, it looks like coffee, even smells like coffee, yet, as it touches your lips, it turns to tea.

Again. It's coffee, looks like coffee, smells like coffee, but, as soon as your tongue gets involved it is tea. Has the texture of tea, coffee is thicker.

TeaCoffee.

Have a go, i actually rather enjoyed it.

To much for me to cope with!

This is without doubt the best thing i have ever seen right this second, and, by clicking 'This' it will be the best thing you have ever seen right this second.

Incredible, amazing, filed me with childhood happiness right to my bald patch.