Anablog.

People.

Start anablogging!



Scribble out blogs when you are out and about, don't just save them for the computer!

Who needs the World Wide Net?

Reasons to be cheerful! Very cheerful!

Arise Sir Daley of Mirror!

For you have come up with some Olympic Gold, unlike our footballers.



Whilst our athletes continue to excel in China, pushing their bodies to destruction, our footballers continue to fail. Well done football!

I can well imagine 1 footballers yearly salary is probably more than our entire Olympic team has earned in their lives, and will earn in their lives!

Well done football, please continue to make yourselves look stupid so that i can mock you, come on athletes, keep on winning you winners!

If you like beautiful things...

...go here!

Without doubt a collection of some of the most beautiful things you will ever see!

I can't stop using my eyes to see!

'Imagination is more important than knowledge'

Damn straight!

Keybore™

Now hear this!

I know i come up with an awful lot of stupid ideas, but i think i have an idea that could make me some money!

I give you...Keybore™



Keybore™ is a series of retro style keyboards for you computer. They work just like normal keyboards, plug in like normal keyboards, just so happens they come in the shape of a Commodore 64, or a ZX Spectrum!

There could be an entire suite of designs. Amiga, Oric, just imagine!

I am seriosly going to look into getting these produced! We could have a gold plated range!

Limitless!!

And, just for the record, consider this copywrite! Dated and mine! Hands off!

I can hear Theo Profiterole now! I'll give you 250 grand for 1%!

The bar is to high, far to high!

Well, who's laughing now? Me?

As my poor family are more than aware, for years i have said,

'Why the hell did they make Ellen Macarthur a Dame?'

All she did was go around the world in a yacht and cried an awful lot, did she think it was going to be easy?

Then i started saying,

'Why the hell did they make Kelly Holmes a Dame?'

All she did was run some races and happened to win 2 golds in one games!

Then i said,

'That is brilliant that they have made Steve Redgrave a Sir'

Sat at the top of his game for 20 years winning golds in 5 Olympics!

So now what happens with our success at the Olympics? Hmmm?

Are we going to start honoring all athletes who do pretty well?

Arise Sir Bradley Wiggins, be up standing for Dame Rebecca Adlington.

Stand up Sir Christopher Hoy, meet Sir Ben Ainslie.

They just set the bar way to high with Holmes and Macarthur and now all that do well will be wondering if the call will come from Liz!

Admit it Windsor, you got it wrong!

Game on!

And still I continue to love the Olympics, although the badminton makes me slightly nervous when I watch it.

The table tennis was incredible. They appear to be looking for opportunity to strike, as to start with it all looked very slow and hunched up, but then all of a sudden, like a cross cat, they started battering the poor little ball!

At one point one of the women was about 20 foot back and about 10 wide of the table yet was still hammering it. Here she looked more like a cross praying mantis, the hunched up cat look had gone.

And then of course the 100 metres final.

Insain Bolt thrashed the opposition! He had won it in 50 metres so then spent the next 50 meters running like a child taunting the other kids 'cause you run like this, nuh nuh nuh'. It was something magical.

And when Rebecca Addlington won her second gold medal in the swimming the commentator had the biggest bout of amnesia ever by excitedly announcing, 'I haven't seen world domination like this for years'. Bless him. He had obviously forgotten about Michael Phelps 8 gold’s in one games.

Speaking of Phelps, I thought I had to capture this.



Without the big man’s 8 golds USA would have the same gold count as us! What?

And, per person we are doing very well. If you consider populations of countries we are way ahead of China and US of Amateurs. 1 in every 21 million Chinese person has a medal, that drops to 1 in 4.6 million yanks, down to 1 in every 2.4 million for us. Unfortunately, the Aussies are doing best. 1 in 700,000 has a medal. Struth!

Hopefully all of this will encourage people that 2012 is worth all this cash we are paying. I must say, i'd rather my cash went into sport then into hospitals that are likely to close within 4 minutes of opening.

I can't wait for the final round up of the Olympics on the BBC when they do a big long montage to Spandau Ballets Gold!

I bet Tony Hadley can't wait either! Cuhching.

And as my hate for football continues, it was great to see 8 pages of Olympics before a football story in The Metro this morning!

Come on sport!

Lovehates™

I know that you can get Love Hearts that say things like, 'Get Lost' 'Don't be mine' and they have there own packaging and are sold separately, but, imagine if you got nasty Love Hearts in amongst nice Love Hearts!



I think we need to find a disgruntled staff member to realise the dream.

You big Wall-e!

Well, who'd of thought?

Last night, i openly paid 18 pounds for myself and the lovely girlfriend to go and watch a rom-com at the local picture house, it was my choice, and it was a good choice!

I happily sat for over an hour watching love blossom. It was splendid! I almost cried.

Anyway, pull yourself together fat boy!

Wall-e is awesome!

Ok, it is a little love story, but you don't go for that, you go for everything else.

The animation is incredible, so so considered, very sophisticated, and so so imaginative.

The cinematography is astounding, you get a real feeling of scale, and some of the shots where copied from others films. (There is a bit when Eve pops a cap and it looks like a scene from Se7en).

The technology bits are totally awesome to! The girl (I think) called EVE (Extra-terrestrial Vegetation Evaluator) who big Wall-e falls for is straight out of the Bang & Olufsen catalogue of 2043, although she does look more like a well posh Apple computer. What she can do and how she moves is just awesome. And like i mentioned she has a massive gun!! Oh yes!!

It is just magic at every level. The insight into how humans will turn out is brilliant too.

All in all you should really go and see this on the big screen. I bet you could see this 4 or 5 times and pick up so much more. They must have hidden so many little bits in their.

At one point Wall-e gets rebooted and it is the sound of an old Mac Classic starting up. I laughed out load, as did another bloke. I felt sorry for him, i am sure he felt sorry for me.

Anyway, go and see it.

Next stop, 'P.S I Love You'

Goodbight.

Hellboy 2 virals?

Do you see this last week?

Then this this very morning?

Is this marketing collateral for Hellboy 2 where dozens of mythical creatures roam the earth?

Is it?

Expect more things to break over the next couple of days.

'Large octpus pulled from sea of Scotland'

'34 ton beast found dead near Hull'

By the way, if you haven't seen the first Hellboy you are missing out on one of the best 'Superhero' movies of all time!

Ahhhh crap.

....more.....i just found this too!

Toxophilite!

I managed to grab some 'me' time this morning so watched the final of the womens archery.

I am certainly getting caught by the 'Olympic Bug', although with everything that is going on in China, you know, it wouldn't surprise if there is special things in the picture making me like it more. Hmmmmmm, Olympics.....

....Anyway, I was thinking,

'Surely we could easily fashion a future archery winner?'

We have people, some clever people, some dedicated people, with strong fingers. It wouldn't be hard to find our very own toxophilite.

And then I heard something from the commentator that has assured me that we will never have a female Olympic Gold winner. No way!

South Korea have built an exact replica of the Archery field being used at the Olympics in China. It is exactly the same so that all the competitors get used to every camera, stand, blade of grass.

'Yes, but what about the crowd, they won't be used to that would they?'

Don't be so silly. Apparently they get thousands of kids to come and watch the archers, and all they do is shout and scream, thus teaching the Koreans to focus on what they are doing, winning!

Imagine that happening here.

I'm sure we have a very nice archery facility, probably somewhere in the Midlands. Bet you can even buy cans of Coke from a drinks dispenser, couple a quid a go, sit on those nice chairs for your lunch, but can you see us going to all that trouble of shipping in loads of kids. No no no.

We would just pull people off the street, probably some non believers.

'Oi, twat with the bow and arrow, do you think you are f&ckin Robin Hood or sumfin? C*&ts!

Rory, you were right, dedications what you need.

(And just in case you didn't know the history of the Two Finger Salute, read on.)

Uhhh, yeah, like uhhh...

...this is obviously the most amazing thing ever seen.

I love creative people, they make me smile, massively!

Watch this, it will better your life!


Thanks Joshua Allen Harris, you have made me happy, although you do have a name that sounds like an Estate Agent which i don't see as a problem at this moment becasue i admire you.

Just go away! Leave me alone!

I am sooooo over football.

There have been so many sporting occasions over the last couple of months that I don't think we need football anymore. Footballers, you can now go.

I DID actually enjoy the football World Cup, and I think it was because we weren't in it.

Wimbledon was good. That grumpy Scottish man did well.

There have been 2 golf majors, of which a bloke from over this side of the pond won both.

That has been loads of cricket, most of it very good, I even am getting relatively excited about F1, I guess because of the Hamilton’s, Christine and Neil.

And now the Olympics is here. I sat and watched some archery the other morning, followed by some cycling, it was simply delightful.

So I am sorry footballers, you can now leave, we don't need to no more.

Half of the problem I have is that they are over course, over paid, over indulged morons that don't play with passion, they play so they can get there next diamond earring. The people at the Olympics, the biggest sporting platform in our galaxy, perhaps, are there to compete, to excel, to achieve.

And what is more, did you hear about the 23 year old footballer who got tackled, hurt his foot, oh poor thing, and then got a payout of 4.5 million pounds because, 'he was going to be the best player in the world ever 4,' yeah, just like Wayne Rooney and Theo Walcott. It is disgraceful the amount of money that is thrown at these horrible little thugs. Not to mention Joey Barton.

BBC, you need to buy up more little sports that we are awesome at, then try and make those people stars.

Football 0 - All sports that don't include footballers, diamond, idiots and massive cash 1.

Ouch, the Sun is hot today!

Magic magic words once more from magic magic people.

Story about the Welsh lady who won a gold in the cycling yesterday.

Hurrah!

Hurray!

See you next Tuesday Chris.

It happened!

I got in last night and was just watching a bit of Quizcall before bed and there it was.

'I'll take a call in the next 30 seconds' Chris says.

'18,17,16,15,14,13,12,11..................'

Phone rings.

'Hello, who's this?'

'Steve'

'Hello Steve, what's your guess?'

'You're a c*&t'

'Owwwwwwwwwwww' Chris lets out a little wince, then apologises and moves on.

What a pro.

What a night.

What a game!

The beauty of Life and death.

This is a wonderful piece of work, even if it was from last year.

Jonathan Harris spent 9 days with Inupiat Eskimos in Alaska hunting whales so that the village could eat.

They travelled thousands and thousands of miles across the Arctic trying to find the beasts and thus trying to find food for the Eskimos.

This site documents his photos, but the best thing is that he had a heart rate monitor attached so you can browse the photos based on the speed his heart was going when he took the shots. Amazing, as it truly portrays the many feelings experienced on a hunt.

Its a wonderful site, and even better is it is all about life itself.

Jesus rocks!

Is this, or is this not one of the best things in the world?

Religion is brilliant!!

Small is brilliant!

Check this out!


Shanghai in 2020.

My, how it has shrunk.

Best clock in the world.

Imagine wearing this on your wrist.

Very good indeed, just very good.

Make your own Gondry video.

I was on the train he other day. Infact, I was on one of them Virgin trains that banks when it goes around corners. It was amazing! It feels like you are in a Snow Speeder and you are racing toward the AT-AT's.

Anyway, I was looking out the window and thinking of the Michel Gondry video that he did for the Chemical Brothers.

If you know the video I am talking about you will know that the train track works like a timeline for a music track, in that whenever you see something appear on the right, it coincides with a beat or sound.

Now, watch this clip I shot...

...and put on some music. Perhaps a bit of trance, maybe some house, even some pop. Anything with a beat seems to work. Don't forget to turn the sound down on this clip.

There, you now have your very own Gondry video.

I don’t think the Gondry one is computer generated after all, I think he just found a piece of track with lots of things at the side of the track, and left the rest to the viewers imagination.

I’m done, off I go.

Speed of a pooma, pooma, pooma.

I had a nice little thought for an apllication that sits on your phone and tells you how fast your text messages are travelling.

It simply plots where you are on the planet, then also plots the location of the person you are sending a message too.

It then tells you the speed at which that text moved.

For example, if you had a friend in Australia, and you sent them a text, it would probably travel at something like 7,604,640 mph. That's if you consider Sydney is about 10,562 miles away and it would probably take 5 seconds to get there.

Should you be a bit more local, say across town, a message would travel at roughly 720 miles an hour.

If you were in the same pub, you are probably slowing down to about 2 miles per hour.

You could then have world records, leagues, it would be super.

If you want this idea you will have to fight me for it.