Hol'land of the giants.

A giant Lego man has been washed up on the beach at Brighton.

Wonder if he fell off a big Lego boat, i do hope so!

That's it, all done.

Good morning future.

This is proper, right proper.

It is using your phone as an overlay to the world around you.



Point it at a poster and it can tell you more.

Point it at food on the shelf and it can tell you the calories inside or give you recipe ideas.

Point it at a CD and it can give you a discography of that artist.

The future is arriving, and i don't think it is Orange, it's like normal colours.

Thanks Rubbishcorp

Ante Meridiem and Post Meridiem.

Why do digital watches and mobiles feel they have to tell you it is AM and PM?

Unless you live in a sealed room you can tell which 5.56 it is by the time of day, or indeed where you are and what you are doing.

If I am asleep at 5.56 I would know it is in the morning, AM.

If I am about to leave work, I would know it is the evening, PM.

If you are going to be using alarms and things then use the 24hr functionality, but watches, mobiles and computers, I am cleverer than you (that's debatable) and I don't need you to be telling me it is AM or PM.

Just back off.

P.S. Do you know why all watches are always 10 past 10 - or Argos o'clock as i call it, when displayed? It is becasue it looks like a smile. You can also use 10 to 2.

The Darkside of Auntie!

Again, the Beeb are championing top choice TV.

The Dark Side of Fame with Piers Morgan last night chatted to Chanetelle Houghton, who shot to fame when she won Celebrity Big Brother in 2006. Apparently the exchange was poignant and a touching lesson about the pitfalls of fleeting fame.

Poignant you say? Did you see it? She started to cry a bit when she couldn't really work out the words that were supposed to be coming out of her mouth.

Infact, she probably thinks 'Poignant' are a finalist on X-Factor. A 3 piece brother and sister outfit from Leeds who do covers of Gene Pitney's classics.

I ask you, it really was awful. I am sure when he spoke to Tracey Emin and Jay Don it was rahter more interesting as they have lived lives full of good and bad stuff, but come on.....at least Jade Goody said 'ooh everybody can see my badly stuffed kebab' she deserves her millions.

Come on BBC, sort it out will you.

No time for suffering, oh no!

Good to see the London Lite, London's second worse free paper, being considerate to the feelings of others.

'Can you spot five differences in these pictures of singer Jennifer Hudson' they ask?

No no no, don't worry that 3 of her family members have just been murdered, no no no.

I guess this shows how on the pulse these pathetic papers are.

Idiots. Total idiots.

Tip of the day.

(Fig. A)

When standing at a busy bar trying to get the attention of the barwomen/man, always fold the note in half as seen in Fig. A and hold it out between thumb and index finger.

This makes you far more visable to the aforementioned barwomen/man and also makes you feel like a true high roller.

Try this technique next time you are in a busy bar, it really works.

Oh, I should probably mention there is one awful bi-product.

To most of the other people around you you will appear like a total cock, but i think that is a small price to pay.

How much?

I have just seen this...

In case you can't see that is Moira Stuart sitting happily in the 'O' of Oct.

Now, 3 things;

1. What is the relevance between Moira and Paper Tax Returns?
2. How more effective was the ad because of Moira's inclusion? (i paid more attention)
3. Who is the cheapest celeb, news reader, pointless idiot, and what is the minimum you could pay to have them appear in your ad?

'Moria, we have had a call from HM Revenue and Customs and they are willing to give you 20 quids worth of Marks vouchers for you to appear in a couple of ads, it looks like an awesome opportunity'

'Where do i sign?' (said in that awful mono-tone style that only Moira can do)