Do you believe in life after love?

I was just rummaging through some old files and found this...

It was off a site i did to promote myself.

It made me laugh again.

I love laughing again, don't you again?

Awesome

This message was spotted on a t-shirt whilst on holiday in the United States of Americans.

I think it is probably one of the best things i have ever ever seen written on a 100% cotton item of clothing.

keep it up, right up.

Me and me Dad.

So, its been a while, i've been on holiday i have.

Anyway, we stayed in this hotel in Boston. It was posh, $1200 a night posh, and it came with some like proper posh magazines on the proper posh coffee table, the words and pictures were all pretty posh.

Anyway, i opened it up and found this...

...Me.

What is odder still is that the chap next to me in the glasses looks just like me Dad.

I liked it i did. It was lovely.

Thanks for your time, buy now, it's good to be back.

Worst ever?

I saw this this morning on a very free paper.

Is this the worst headline ever? It is so lazy! If they had won 34 nil then maybe they could use this line.

It's like they used some simple generator written by a South Korean chap.

SUBJECT = MICHAEL

POSSIBLE HEADLINES = TAKE THE MICHAEL. TAKING THE MIKEY.

Rubbish Metro!

Rubbish!

Its rubbish!

I have found another new phenomenon that is sweeping the middle class.

Polite littering!

They sit there with their Starbucks coffee cups waiting for that moment to slowly put it down at their feet. They eat their bacon sandwich then very very carefully put the rubbish under a seat.

Keep your eye open for them, they live amongst us. Idiots.

Gym Robinson

I had a magic idea!

Open up a set of Gyms named after famous Jims.

So, we would have a Gym Robinson, where, in a certain area they would play old repeats of Neighbours.

Gym Morrison would have a little spot where you workout to The Doors.

Gym Broadbent would play films obviously starring 'The Broadbent'

Gym Henson would play lots of Muppets and we might even theme the staff.

Gym Davidson would be for the old and the young.

Anyway, i think you get the idea.

And the best bit about these gyms is that when ringing the main call centre to try and speak to you local gym, the conversation would be something like.

'Hello how can i help you today'

'Hi, could you put me through to Gym Robinson please, i have a query about chest pains'

Now ain't that just fine.

Win win winchester!

I was in Winchester again at the weekend visiting a dear dear friend of mine and several brilliant things happened which i thought i would tell you about.

So, we went to this lovely little pub in the afternoon, its more a bar, than a pub. It has lovely clientele, lovely fine wine, lovely decor, lovely toilets, and lovely bar games. We decided to play hangman, and i feel our first game...

...totally ruined the entire ambinece of the establishment.

Anyway, we were in the bar and we heard lots of Santa's approaching. On turning around we saw that christmas hadn't infact come early, it was a fleet of Morris's. They even came with their own jugs to have booze in. Anyway, Barney and i were discussing the point of the Morris's dancing, and it was only when we stepped outside that there true potential came to light. Being a Morris enables you to have your photo taken with rather attractive ladies. Bravo Morris's!

So we drank more and obviously ended up at curry o'clock and i ordered a curry light, being a total girl who can't handle the heat. During the eating ceremony it soon dawned on me that this was a super hot curry i was attemping to finish. It wasn't until i got the bill that the obvious break down in communication came to light.

Anyway, i recommend a trip to Winchester and if required i can put you a 'mad hot' pub crawl together.

Thwinchester!