Thursday, April 30, 2009

Slap chop!


The magic of slap chop!

'Watch this, you're going to love my nuts'

Awesome, more awesome is the clips from this. What an LP!

I'm falling!!!!


Have yourself a little look at this.

I did a little sickie in my mouth as i thought for a moment i had fallen out of a plane, not sure how i got in the plane in the first place, but my brain isn't that good so could have happened somehow.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Lego candles.


Without fire we would all be dead.

Fire is good, of course not so when people are like hurt and stuff.

Anyway, fire is good, Lego is good, Lego candles are good+.

Thanks good+.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

No Simon Amstell!


I was just looking to see if Amstell is on Twitter as i like his style of talking and sentence construction using words and phrases and i found out that 3,134 people are at the moment being let down because he isn't saying anything.

Have a look and see if you can find someone who is disappointing more fans.

I think there needs to be a word created for this phenomena. A bit like a Googlewhack.

Twuthing.

Twitterrible.

Any suggestions welcome.

Dick. Head Chorister.


You might be aware, you might not, but i joined a choir last month.

We practiced last night and one of the ladies recorded the event on her phone.

And here it is.

We are on Britain's got Talent in 3 weeks time.

And, i am so proud of myself as i have no idea what that Boyle women sounds like, i have made it so!

Pig Flu.


A company called Skyskraper have started to create t-shirts relevant to current media events.

A good idea, i like it.

A good idea, i like it until you see that 'will ship to you within 28 days' making it very much not current media events.

Good try Skyskraper.


Next!

Cuckoo clocking.


I have always wanted a proper old school authentic cuckoo clock that smells of Germany and has little bits of Black Forest Gateau on it.

But i must say there is something about these that i rather like.

Perhaps it is just the guns and death.

Anyway, as you were.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Look at this trick of metric.


Just been reading what Ben has been upto, Homegame looked amazing, anyway, i stumbled upon this.

Paul Daniel's blog.

What a read.

'We over-nighted at a Premier Inn overlooking a lake. The Service Areas in the North West are so much better than anywhere else with farm shops and the like built in. The rest of the country should copy their style.'

Paul, you are a entrepreneur and shouldn't just stick to magic. Bugger the round table, you need a bigger table, a bigger table for all your amazing insights.

Come on rest of the country, keep up.

The Garden of England.


I went to Kent's delightful Sissinghurst at the weekend, it was a staggeringly beautiful piece of The Garden of England.

Or so i thought.

I have always called Kent 'The Garden of England' because that is what i thought God named it when he made it.

Apparently, Kent is not The Garden of England anymore, as it is now considered to be North Yorkshire.

I am sorry, but can they really change it willy nilly? Is that right?

It isn't like when Exeter got voted 'City in bloom 2007', and then Norwich took it in 2008.

Surely The Garden of England is one place, Kent, and should always remain one place, that being Kent!

I have been slightly perturbed by the entire thing.

Sorry.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Cadburys Bunny boiler!


I was young, adolescent, of course i was going to find the Cadburys Caramel bunny attractive.

Her West country ascent didn't make it any easier, she had something of Pam Ayres about her.

Anyway, i see they have brought her back and it really does look like they have brought her back, from the dead!

It looks like she has had awful surgery borrowing her mouth from Pete Burns.

Awful!

You have ruined it Cadburys, ruined it for everyone in their mid 30's!

You idiots!

P.S After reading this a friend sent me this, found over East London. Bunny gets what she deserves. Thanks Anna.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Banksy exhibition.


If you are like me and enjoy the work of sold out over exposed so obvious urban grafitti artist Banksy then you might want to get to this.

And, not sure if you have seen his Crude Oils, but it looks like there are some of them there too.

Thanks Banksy.

Chivalry anyone?


Happy Saint Georges Day.

I feel a little bit like Stephen Fry as i have just done some research into why we celebrate this day, and i thought i would share it.

Salone in Libya was a lovely little place and it had a lovely little lake that the people used to use to get drinking water.

Anyway, this dragon liked the look of the lake too and made a nest right on its edge meaning that everyone was to terrified to go and get water for fear of being eaten.

So, they came up with a plan.

Each day the locals would bring sheep for the dragon, dragon loved this shit! He would simply sit and they would bring him sheep. The dragon would then let the locals come and get water. That's compromise.

Anyway, one day the sheep ran out!! Shite!! No problem, we will then give the dragon the kids. Excellent, problem solved.

That was until the daughter of the King was put on a plate for the dragon. Uh oh!

So King said to the people 'if anyone will kill the dragon and save my Princess i will give you loads of cash and stuff'

All the villagers said 'uh, like no way mate, that's a massive dragon'

At that point Saint George rode past and heard the deal the King had put forward.

With that, he got on his horse, rode up to the dragon, gave it a sound beating, saved the Princess, and bathed in glory. (he then blackmailed the locals to become christian, but we won't talk about that)

He was a hero! He had saved the Princess. He had demonstrated the values of chivalry and that needed to be celebrated.

Various people throughout time then also bigged up George and so he is now celebrated yearly.

And so, i think Saint Georges Day should all be about chivalry.

No one really gives a shite about it, but if the day had more purpose people would get involved, rather than just drinking shite English ale that bad pubs serve.

And chivalry is a wonderful thing. I practice it regularly and feel more people should.

There is nothing wrong with being a gentleman after all.

And so this it where it ends.

Chaps, today make sure you treat ladies well, open doors, let them go first, carry their bags, it will make us all feel better.

Politics.


I don't do polotics*.

It doesn't interest me.

MP's bore me with their constant 'well we wouldn't have done that' 'if we were in we would have done this' 'we are much better than them, they are rubbish' attitudes.

And then we had yesterdays budget and from what i have read it was frowned upon my the opposition and my most political journalists.

And so, i get to my point.

The great nation of ours is taking a hammering at the moment, Great Britain is far from Great and the world is beginning to notice. The pound is dying, we have been told that we our going to suffer far greater than any of the other European nations.

So, at times like this shouldn't the parties come together as one force and try and make a difference. Surely their should be a source higher than the government and they should simply say, 'right, we need the smartest people, the brightest brains to all come together and make us brilliant again'. Maybe Queen should get involved, and i am not talking about Deacon or May.

I want all this political commentating and sniping to stop and i want to read about a report written by some clever dude that appears to get the backing of the nation.

This isn't Labour V Conservative V Liberal, this is a well worked out approach by clever business brains that can get us out of this awful boring grey mess that we are in. Some of these people might not even be in political parties, but can we all just come together and find a solution.

Apparently this is what happens in war times. Parties come together to get results.

It appears the entire nation doesn't trust decisions that are being made and someone needs to do something about it before the 'G' of GB disappears.

Anyone for a game of cards?

* This was a joke by the way. I have mispelled** the word politics to highlight the fact that i have such little interest in it i don't even know how to spell it.

** This was a joke by the way.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

No, i'm Darth Vader.

Obviously you will be aware that James Earl Jones was Darth Vader.

I am sure you are also aware that Dave Prowse was Darth Vader.

But, did you know, Sebastian Shaw was also Darth Vader, and probably had the most important part, as he was the face of Vader. See Fig a.

Fig a.

I do think 3 was a little excessive, but hey, who am i to comment.

Well done George.

Full set!

I mentioned yesterday that some stuff i did was up for a Webby, well i have just seen that it won some bronze, so it now has the full set.

Gold
Silver
Bronze

Smart!

And thanks Mark Denton, without you i wouldn't have this.

Candy Flip to celebrate? Go on, treat yourself.

3d 3e 3c 2c 2g.


I was watching Close Encounters of the weekend. Richard Dreyfus makes you believe, he really does.

Anyway, we were discussing whether the tower in the film was real or made up.

It is infact real, and it is called Devils Tower.

Devils Tower is a monolithic igneous intrusion or volcanic neck located in the Black Hills near Hulett and Sundance in Crook County, northeastern Wyoming.

Parallel to this i have been organising a trip to Yellowstone, in Wyoming, to see the super volcano, infact, last night i booked flights.

Coincidence has now meant that i am going to get to see Devils Tower when i go to see the big volcano thingy which both happen to be in Wyoming.

I am totally and utterly thrilled.

Well done coincidence, you are my friend.

Anton Corbijn.

I love photos.

Photos are brilliant!

Because i like photos it means i like photographers.

Photographers are brilliant.

One of the photographers who i think is particularly brilliant is Anton Corbijn.

When i was growing up he inspired my an awful lot.

Inspiration is brilliant.

And with that in mind it was great to see that Anton - when designing the new Depeche Mode album cover - got his inspiration from an ad on the London Underground.

Well done Anton, it pays to keep your eyes open doesn't it?

Inspiration is brilliant.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Make me a winner.


Regular viewers to this blog will be aware that a site i worked on some time ago has been picking up some gold and silverware.

Well, it has gone and got itself a Webby nomination.

The Webbys are an award that is voted for by us lot, the viewer, the general public.

So, if you haven't got anything better to do in the next half an hour go to the site, have a look under Automotive, click on The Truth About Smart and the others in the category, then, of course if you think it was the best, vote for my site. You have to register to vote.

Then, if i win you can share the celebration.

Let's celebrate.

I have even mocked up what i would look like if i won the award and held a shark.

I think you will agree we belong together.

Henry the Eight.

I enjoy using Twitter. I find it fun, intrusive, voyeuristic.

I enjoy Henry VIII. I find him compelling, passionate, dynamic.

So, when i read this, i was thoroughly thrilled.

I didn't do history at school, Mr Sutherland put me off, but in later life i have enjoyed reading about various Kings and Queens, battles, happenings. So i am very much looking forward to hearing about Henry.

I think they should take this further and make a Twitter feed about happenings in history.

'Today i invented Penicillin, Boots are going to be well happy with me'

'This morning i shot John Lennon, i think i might be in trouble'

...you get me.

Come on Wikipedia, get on the case.

Oh yes, this is me as Henry VIII, as painted by this nice chap.



Well done all.

Glowfish.

A lovely little animation and tune from some people called Glowfish.

The animation is really reflective of the music. The way it flows and locks.



It feels like a Timberlake dance routine without The Timberlake.

Cute, very cute.

Monday, April 20, 2009

A dnb enima

As alot of you will know, Drum and Bass is by far my favourite genre of music right now.

I honestly can't get enough.

I have tried on several occasions to go without, but i just can't, i think i have a problem.

Without it i am not the same man, it is like De Courcey without Nookie, Daniels without Debbie, i am just not complete.

With that in mind, i have just found this...

..and it has made me complete, i then found this, which made me over complete.

I need a Drum and Bass number 2.

B-Complex you have made be over full.

Look at that!


There is nothing nicer in the world than a beautifully designed something that does more than just look good.

Have a look here.

Some most wonderful information graphics.

Visually explaining what you mean is much better than just explaining.

Explaining. You win!

Busted.


6.32am Sunday morning.

By choice i wake up and make my way to Richmond Park where i enjoy 18 holes of golf in the beautiful lush countryside of England with some fellow golfers.

I haven't played for a good year and this morning i feel like i have been totally duffed up! I can hardly walk. My arms ache. My neck is stiff. Golf has killed me!

How in gods green lush earth do old people cope? After a round they must have to have a couple of days off life.

Anyway, take up golf. It is awesome and you should embrace it.

That's it.

Embrace.

Moog Acid.


This chap called Dan McPharlin creates miniature analog electronic devices using nothing but paper and his fingers and brain and glue.

I would love to see paper Jean Michel Jarre having a cuppa with paper Brian Eno as they discuss whether they are going to paper Michael Oldfield's party at the weekend.

Lovely work Daniel, thanks.

Speaking of lovely paper things.

That is so beneath me!


I am sure you will have seen this. It shows the actual path of the tube lines in London.

And now they have done this where they have plotted them onto Google Maps.

Really interesting to see which streets they all run under.

Lovely.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Nice snatch!


This is a simply wonderful thing.

I congratulate everyone who had something to do with it.

Congratulations.

Defender.

Just been salivating over this;

What a simple delight Defender was!

It was the sound effects i loved.

My Mum used to play badminton on a Friday night, sometimes i would go, sometimes i would get 10p off my Mum, and sometimes i would plop it in the slot and get a good bout of Defender.

Thanks Mum,

Thanks Cotswold Leisure Centre.

And then i remembered Tempest.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Don't clean me!


This chap called Scott likes nothing more than a dirty windscreen.

I can't work out if these are fo-real, or fo-toshop.

I presume Scott is a nice lad and wouldn't lie to us, would he?

The Speak N Spellbinder.

The Aphex Twin meets R2D2 mash up all over the place.



Gannon takes Speak N Spell into the future and beyond.

Skill.

The Joy of Advertising.


So much marketing and advertising is pointless and rubbish.

It is obviously much better when conversations can be had.

Audi thought they were being clever by putting up and ad, BMW then did a massive smackdown!

9 out of 10.

2 House Points.

Thanks PSFK

Daffiti™


So, last night i was supposed to go to the gym.

I was all geared up, raring to go, got to the train station, text message arrives.

'PINT?' It read.

Hmmmmmm......

'No no no' internal Richard said, 'gym please Richard'.

'Richard!!' Exclaimed internal Richard, 'RICHARD!'

With that Richard went to the pub and drank pints.

Internal Richard was furious, external Richard was slightly perturbed.

Anyway, whilst at the pub we saw this.

Some people had ripped out the flowers and created graffiti.

Now, as you can see, one of the pieces said 'ECOFREINDLY' - not very clever daffitiers.

Might i suggest that ripping up plants is not really ecofriendly? Is it now?

No.

Anyway, i will continue to go to the pub instead of going to the gym and i will report any other findings.

Well done.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Flight of the Concordes.

Last month i found this.

This month i find this.

Little planes are the best thing ever.

But perhaps not as good as this!

The Four Pint Club™


The Four Pint Club made it's fourth appearance last night.

Again, it was without doubt a major success in every way, even if it was short on numbers.

My belief is that it now has to move away from The Green Man as i don't think it is doing some of the members any favours by giving them the opportunity to drink 4 pints of 7.3% cider.

Well done Tee Fee Pee Cee, you continue to impress me.

Zen Bound.

I have been meaning to blog this for ages, so this is now very old news i am sure.

Anyway, i will continue knowing full well that i am about to commit social currency suicide because all you people out there on the edge, the cutting edge will have already seen this.

And so i will begin.

I was out with Matt during the Six Nations and he showed me this game called Zen Bound on his trendy iFone mobile handset.

It was incredibly beautiful in every single way, from the simplicity of the idea down to the execution and that is why i just thought you might like to see it, of course, if you haven't already.

You can go now.

Grass wheel.

We all like grass.

Some like it so much that they burn it in and suck up the smoke using their mouths.

But, imagine if you could simply walk on grass all day long.

Imagine no more.

For extra realism i would suggest putting bits of broken glass and dog shite in amongst the nice blades.

Well done person.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Help the robot.


A little robot landed in a park and needed some help to get to see his friends in the opposite corner, people helped him along his path.

People are nice, as is the soundtrack.

A man's home is his castle.


I love castles, churches and cathedrals, simply can't get enough of them!

So you can well imagine how excited i was at finding this list of most immaculate castles from around the world.

Now, take that excitement and double it as i just found this, which is residing here.

Architecture and art together as one, I'm a having some troubdsfdfle typiungnging.

Thanks history, thanks Lucky Spot.

Excuse, do you have the time?


I have been thinking of buying a new watch.

I saw these at the weekend and thought i might get one. Will be lovely to own a Timex again, just like old times.

Anyway, whilst searching for watches i also found this.

What a brilliant thing. Although, is it really Richard?

Who in their right mind would buy one, and for what reason? Apart from looking pretty damn rock!

'Excuse, do you have the time?'

- peel back jumper revealing wrist watch thing that looks like it should be able to tell the time.

'Uh, no i can't'

------TRUTH-------

You are right Richard, it is rubbish.

Sorry to bother you.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Where have you been??


So, you your boy/girlfriend gets in late one night and you notice hairs on their top that clearly aren't yours.

Next night, they come in and it would appear they have carpet burns on their knees yet you have wooden floors!

What?

Surely they are having a bit of hanky panky with someone that isn't you!

Surely!?

Surely not!

They are just using the Instigated Jealousy Kit to make you believe they are getting it left, right and centre!

Awesome!

Sarnie.


We all love a sandwich, of course we do, although, i must say, i am going off Pret with every sighting of a Cheddar, Roast Tomatoes & Pickle Bloomer or a Free-Range Egg Mayo & Roasted Tomato Breakfast Baguette. They are so full of filth.

'Do you want extra calories with that Sir?'

Anyway, take a look at this.

Some dude has decided to scan in the profile of some fat sandwiches.

Well done person, nice thinking.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Scan Solo!

Mistabishi's magnificent Printer Jam has some sound competition!


I've got a right floppy after seeing that!

Thanks people, nice, true nice.

Vo-coder.


I wonder, if i did this at work would more people listen to what i say?

Possibly not.

Speaking of code, Steve Hawking has been graffing the place up a treat. The old chalk on the head trick no doubt.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Money maker.


It's all about the Fiddy.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Play with me please.


Very clever man Carlos Ulloa has created a new studio called HelloEnjoy™.

The site isn't complete, yet i still stayed there for a good 10 minutes just playing.

Playful is good, very good.

Try and spell something awfully offensive at least in some way funny.

Le Scaphandre et le papillon.


I watched The Diving Bell and the Butterfly last night.

Good lord! What an incredible A) film, and B) thing.

It is a true story about Elle editor Jean-Dominique Bauby who suffers a stroke and is left totally paralyzed apart from being able to blink his left eye. He is basically trapped in his own body.

Anyway, with the help of others and his left eye he writes a book about what he is going through, this was then obviously made into a sensational film.

The Director, Julian Schnabel does an incredible job of piecing the entire thing together and making you really feel like you are in Jean-Do's head, trapped with him.

Amazing and inspirational in so many ways, hire the VHS and watch it now.

50 yippie!


I am getting so close to completing the task.

I got the 50p at the weekend whilst in Winchester.

My friend Barney and i had a curry, it was £28.45.

I said i would pay on card, he wanted to pay cash.

He, Barney, then rustled around in his pockets and gave me 14 pounds something. Amongst the something was this 50p, of which he hadn't noticed until it was in my possession.

Now, originally i said you could not ask fiends or family to check their change, but i think this is fine. A transaction had taken place.

If someone does however feel strongly about this then please let me know and i will discard it and find another, but please be aware, it has taken me over 6 months to get to where i am now.

Come to Daddy little 2p, come to daddy!

Earl Okin.

I have just seen this.

I like Earl's mango styles.

I am guessing this clip is from 1986 judging by the falt top of the kid in the first frame.

Thanks Earl.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Fight fight fight........


I have been thinking about whether or not to go down to Bank for a scrap, not sure?

Then i started thinking about things i am upset about at the moment.

If i am going to go I want something original to fight about, i want my own chant, my own message. There are alot of people down there just fighting for the hell of it, i want a cause.

Obviously people are cross with the economy, cross about Iraq, upset about Banks, but i want something original to fight about.

Thinking about it I bought a whisk from Ikea the other day, and however much i wash it i just can't get bits off it as the plastic is to sticky, and now because i scrub it so much it has got rougher, thus attracting more bits.

And thinking about it, that makes me really cross!

Yeah, right, that's it!

You f*&king sh*ts! F*&k you Ikea! I'm f*&king off! Well cross. Coppers are going to wish Ikea had thought long and hard before putting that whisk on sale.

Watch the TV tonight, you might see me ramming my whisk into plods face, and if you have any grievances why not come and have a fight.