Friday, March 14, 2008

What?


Does anyone understand this ad?

I have no idea what it is saying? Well, that is a lie, i think i do.

Is it saying that someone has fallen out of their ski's at the top of a mountain and someone in a Land Rover is going to the rescue?

Do they not know it is impossible to 'fallout' of ski boots?

It is a stupid ad. Please make sure you don't look at it if you don't see it out and about.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Ffffabulous.

You might want to stop off and take a look at Ffffound!

On Ffffound! i ffffound these...

Vader Quids


Family Wookie


World War II Trooper


Me bulbs gone!

I am very pleased that i ffffound them as they have made me hhhhappy!

Easter time, mistletoe and wine


Do you know why Easter is so early this year? No?

I do you see and am therefore am going to pass on my incredible knowledge, lucky you.

The basics you need to know are:

1. Easter Day falls the Sunday after the first full moon after the Spring Equinox.

2. Spring Equinox falls on the 21st of March which is a Friday.

3. The first full moon after the Spring Equinox is going to appear on the 22nd of March which is a Saturday.

D. That makes Easter Day Sunday the 23rd of March.

It basically couldn't be any earlier, and in fact, Easter won't fall this early again for another 153 years. I can't wait.

And, whilst we are on the subject the latest Easter Day will ever be is the 23rd of April.

So, get your chocolate in early and stuff it in your big chops.

Motorway Gritter


I don't think I have ever heard such an ordinary item used so creatively.

I am sitting listening to some drums and some bass and the MC just spouted out that he was a heavyweight splitter, and he was spitting out lyrics like a motorway gritter.

Incredible.

He also mentioned that, Harold Shipman, murders MC’s with a deadly prescription.

He obviously reads papers and keeps up with current affairs.

I like drums with some bass.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

The Sun'niest day for a while.

More brilliant words and pictures from The Sun.

It's been a while since the last masterpiece!

But i would like to think they have made up for it by having special words and pictures in one edition.

Firstly...

I am sure you will agree they have again smacked the ball out of the park and it has landed in another park that they have smacked it out of again.

Then, i love nothing more than boobs and jockeys.

So, you can imagine how excited i was to see this...

(I covered there special bits with Willie and Balding)

Well done The Sun, you have blinded me once more.

Oi Taffy!


Isn't it just a great time to be Welsher.

The rugby team is getting back to how it used to be, if you'll excuse me, they are tossing it around like the boys of old. Keep tossing chaps.

Cardiff City are in the Sem-i-finals of the FA Cup. How in heavens name did that happen? St David had a word with the big man I reckon 'Go on Beardy, we have had to put up with Merthyr Tydfil for all those years'.

And I even saw Katherine Jenkins on Wossy and although she is a hideous wailing bird who ruins the Welsh National Anthem every time the rugger boys play, she actually came across alright.

And of course, Kylie is back wearing her slinky outfits, hurrah for that.

I wonder if it has anything to do with the Japanese being able to harpon Whales again. Perhaps again the big man has decided that you can either bash Wales or Whales, and he picked Whales, sorry Moby.(Isn't he Canadian?)

So well done you great great nation.

And, I am almost Welsh, I was born only about 40 miles from the border and my middle name is Charlotte, so I am almost as Welsh as Terri and Quinn Stevens of Taybank Cottage, Mendalgief Road, Newport.

Oh Flower of Scotland, when will we see your like again, that fought and died for, your wee bit hill and glen!

Stop reading here.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Ass bath?


My morning wake up routine includes sitting on the sofa with a bowl of cereal watching the sports headlines on the Beeb 1, generally these are brought to us by Chris Hollins.

This mornings report however had something a bit extra.

He was reporting on the accommodation that the athletes will be staying in in Beijing. Nice big hotel, contemporary fixtures and fittings, 2 lovely looking beds, generously appointed bathroom, well, we call it a bathroom but it doesn't have a bath. Now, according to Chris Hollins, that won't be good for Paula Radcliffe as she apparently likes to take an 'ass bath' or 2. Chris, the professional that he is soon put us straight and let us know that it isn't an 'ass bath' that she likes, it is in fact an 'ice bath'. He then proceeded to apologise to the viewers.

With Paula Radcliffes reputation of weeing and pooing I would have thought an 'ass bath' would actually be required as well.

That's it. Thanks for watching.